After a break-up, the idea most of us see in the movies is that we are supposed to complain about our Ex. We are supposed to eat ice cream, listen to sad music, and then eventually start to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and forget all about the person we used to love.
For most of us, this process is quite a good one. It allows us to process the feelings of loss, disappointment, or even anger that a separation brings up. It allows us to move on and continue the search for a new romantic partner.
In a large number of cases, relationships break down because the lovebirds have stopped enjoying each other’s company. Perhaps they have discovered that they disagree deeply on an issue like religion, or whether to have children. These things could be a deal-breaker to some people. Many of us like an academic debate, but most of us prefer it not to be all the time.
If you find your mind drifting back to an old love interest, you might start to wonder whether you have made the right choice. It is normal to miss someone in the early days after a breakup, but a few years down the line, if you’re still wanting to tell them when you see something funny or interesting, perhaps you should think again.
You may have broken up because one of you was moving away, or because you were both too young to settle down. Maybe you broke up because you were unsure whether your family or theirs would approve. There are circumstances where the world pulls you apart that do not mean you should never come back together. You may be thinking about them from the perspective of a more confident adult, or understanding your own priorities better than you did before.
This person could represent the kind of partner you were drawn to before responsibilities and expectations settled on your shoulders. They could represent the kind of partner who makes you feel free and have fun. If you separated amicably, have no history of abusive behavior between you, and are ready to consider a life together then it could be time to pick up the phone and make that call. Find the fun that you saw before, now that you have grown and changed. You might find they have been thinking of you in quiet moments too.
It can be wonderful to have a partner who knows you well and remembers you at different stages of your life. Recognizing your strengths together can be a wonderful opportunity and your reunion after taking a break to develop and grow could be even more romantic than your first moments together.